Saturday, March 28, 2009

Playing with my food

One of the rarely-mentioned joys of being a married guy is that you've always got a wife waiting to be appalled by what you eat. Laura has a show tonight, so for dinner I did some experimentation with food in a blender. First experiment: half a can of white-meat chicken, 3/4 cup of nonfat yogurt, and a teaspoon of crushed garlic. Surprisingly not bad; a bit like evil tzatziki. It went well with pita. And, second experiment: the other half of the can of chicken, 3/4 cup of low-fat cottage cheese, a little milk, and some black pepper. Also better than expected. I heated it in the microwave and ate it with tortilla chips, and it wasn't half bad. Both of these are quick, easy, and high in protein -- almost 60 grams in both experiments. And both invoked retching sounds from Laura.

I suspect that one of the reasons I liked the meat in a blender is that my standards for high-protein blender foods are very low. I'll have the occasional protein shake on mornings when I'm planning on heavy exercise, and this stuff is awful. I keep experimenting with it to see if I can improve the taste, but I haven't had any luck. My best bet is to just mix skim milk and chocolate-flavored protein powder, then drink it quickly to get it over with.

And, I was curious to know if I'm the first person to ever use the phrase "evil tzatziki". Google says no; 212 hits. While I'm googling, I also found 238 instances of "cat bidet," one hit for "electrified shingles," and 4 hits for "anti-pigeon artillery". It's a weird world we live in.

Speaking of inappropriate things in a blender: if you haven't seen the Will It Blend? guy, you need to check him out. He's the amusing kind of crazy.

2 comments:

NerfSmuggler said...

First, I've got to admit that I've never (knowingly) had chicken meat from a can, and it wasn't immediately clear that we were talking cooked.

Raw chicken in a blender sounds irredeemably vile.

I have to go with Laura, cooked chicken in a blender is only slightly less vile.

Jeff Mountjoy said...

Raw would be creepy, with an added layer of creepy stemming from the poor food handling in processing plants. It'd be a lot like asking for a case of salmonella.

The chicken/cottage cheese concoction came out much like cream of chicken soup, especially when heated; if you can dig cream of chicken in a can, you'd probably like this too.

I suspect there's a fundamental wrongness to most blended food anyway, even if it's fresh fruit and yogurt. Once you've made the mental leap to, essentially, externally pre-chewing your food in a machine, it's only a short step to meat products in a blender....