Saturday, March 28, 2009

Playing with my food

One of the rarely-mentioned joys of being a married guy is that you've always got a wife waiting to be appalled by what you eat. Laura has a show tonight, so for dinner I did some experimentation with food in a blender. First experiment: half a can of white-meat chicken, 3/4 cup of nonfat yogurt, and a teaspoon of crushed garlic. Surprisingly not bad; a bit like evil tzatziki. It went well with pita. And, second experiment: the other half of the can of chicken, 3/4 cup of low-fat cottage cheese, a little milk, and some black pepper. Also better than expected. I heated it in the microwave and ate it with tortilla chips, and it wasn't half bad. Both of these are quick, easy, and high in protein -- almost 60 grams in both experiments. And both invoked retching sounds from Laura.

I suspect that one of the reasons I liked the meat in a blender is that my standards for high-protein blender foods are very low. I'll have the occasional protein shake on mornings when I'm planning on heavy exercise, and this stuff is awful. I keep experimenting with it to see if I can improve the taste, but I haven't had any luck. My best bet is to just mix skim milk and chocolate-flavored protein powder, then drink it quickly to get it over with.

And, I was curious to know if I'm the first person to ever use the phrase "evil tzatziki". Google says no; 212 hits. While I'm googling, I also found 238 instances of "cat bidet," one hit for "electrified shingles," and 4 hits for "anti-pigeon artillery". It's a weird world we live in.

Speaking of inappropriate things in a blender: if you haven't seen the Will It Blend? guy, you need to check him out. He's the amusing kind of crazy.


NerfSmuggler said...

First, I've got to admit that I've never (knowingly) had chicken meat from a can, and it wasn't immediately clear that we were talking cooked.

Raw chicken in a blender sounds irredeemably vile.

I have to go with Laura, cooked chicken in a blender is only slightly less vile.

Jeff Mountjoy said...

Raw would be creepy, with an added layer of creepy stemming from the poor food handling in processing plants. It'd be a lot like asking for a case of salmonella.

The chicken/cottage cheese concoction came out much like cream of chicken soup, especially when heated; if you can dig cream of chicken in a can, you'd probably like this too.

I suspect there's a fundamental wrongness to most blended food anyway, even if it's fresh fruit and yogurt. Once you've made the mental leap to, essentially, externally pre-chewing your food in a machine, it's only a short step to meat products in a blender....