Thursday, January 22, 2009

Cell phones in bookstores can get you in trouble.

I went to the bookstore today during the 5pm rush, when downtown workers all hit Borders on the way to their cars, to pick up a book. While I was there, I called Laura to see if she wanted anything. She said yes; she's reading a couple of paranormal romances, and new books in several series have hit the shelves in the last few weeks. But Laura didn't have her book notebook at work, so she wasn't sure about the title, just the author. And all the titles are similar -- they all had the word "midnight" in the title somewhere, or something like that. She had me read the back cover blurbs over the phone so she could figure out which books she had read. I'm not shy about this kind of thing; if I'm going to be reading the back covers of paranormal romances aloud, I might as well do a dramatic reading. So, picture me in the romance aisle of a bookstore, reading text that sounds like:
Dirk Manthorn was the most powerful warrior vhampyre of his clan. Any who threatened he and his brothers would be killed without mercy. So, when he was sent to hunt down the beautiful Alexis Trevayne, whose research had threatened to reveal the existence of the vhampyre society to the mortals, he thought it was just another assignment. But from the first moment her electric blue eyes first met his, he feared she could accomplish what he no longer thought possible: to thaw his frozen heart. And she cannot help but feel the primal pull of his brooding, masculine power. But, an ancient enemy arises, one which will try to use their passion to destroy not only the new lovers, but the entire vhampyr nation....
Laura picked out her book and I hung up the phone, then turned around to find I had an audience: three shoppers and a store employee had all been watching my reading with extreme amusement. It was oddly more funny than embarrassing; I don't embarrass so easily these days.

And, the book I went to Borders for: The Stepsister Scheme, by Jim C. Hines. I recently finished his trilogy about the life and times of Jig the goblin, and I enjoyed it; it's a different, funny take on epic fantasy. The Stepsister Scheme looks like it'll be a lot of fun too, funny and clever -- and well written, if it's anything like Jim Hines's previous work.

2 comments:

NerfSmuggler said...

ooh .. did you end up in a Transylvanian accent? I think if it's spelled "vhampyre", you have to go with the accent.

Jeff Mountjoy said...

I did voices and everything. I made up the sample text above, but it's pretty close to the general tone of the back-cover text on a lot of those books....