Monday, December 15, 2008

Naughty, nice, and a bit kinky

Laura and I decorated our Christmas tree today. Given the holiday-oriented nature of our day, we spent a lot of time subjecting ourselves to holiday music. And I couldn't help but notice the slightly kinky subtext of the too-often-covered song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus". We've all heard the song, and the joke is that the kid narrating the tale is actually watching his parents -- it's not Santa his mom's kissing, it's his father in a red suit and fake beard. But, really, there's a logical gap here. If the dad's playacting Santa for the kid's benefit, mom shouldn't be canoodling with the fake Santa. And, the kid was sneaking out of bed in the middle of the night; the parents really couldn't have planned on the kid waking up to see him playing Santa. I infer from this that the dad was in a Santa suit for reasons having nothing to do with the kid....

The only question is, whose fantasy is the Santa suit? Does the husband like being the Jolly Old Elf ("come sit on my lap and tell me what you want in your stocking!")? Or is it the wife's fantasy to seduce (or be ravished by) Santa Claus? It's a good thing the kid decided to go back to bed after watching them kiss (and watching mom tickle him under his beard-so-snowy-white), before seeing what came next. He narrowly missed the need for years of therapy.

And don't get me started on the song "Snow", wherein Danny Kaye expresses her fetishistic wish to wash her hands, her face, and her hair in snow, and her desire for a man entirely made of snow....

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