Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Burger Math

While lunching alone at Steak-n-Shake today, I was staring at their $3.99 value menu. You can get a triple steakburger, or a double with cheese, or a single with bacon and cheese, and they all come with fries. Since a triple and a double with cheese cost the same, you can infer that a patty equals cheese. And, since a double with cheese equals a single with bacon and cheese, you can infer that a patty also equals bacon. So, bacon=cheese=patty. And, we can see elsewhere on the menu that fries cost $1.99; this means that bacon+patty+cheese+bun+condiments=$2.00. And, on the regular steakburger menu, the difference between a single and a single+cheese is $.39. So cheese=bacon=patty=$.39. So the cheese+bacon+patty=$1.17; this means the bun+condiments costs $.83. You could theoretically get two patties, cheese, and bacon with no bun or condiments for $1.56, or double bacon and double cheese on a bun with no beef patties for $2.39. Do you realize what this means?

It means I should never dine alone at a restaurant, ever. That's what this means. When I dine alone, I do menu math. Nothing but trouble ensues.

1 comment:

Kristen said...

Funny. Even funnier would be you trying to order your version of a burger for your calculated cost. PLEASE, take a video camera and have someone tape you having that conversation with the waiter(ess) and manager.