Monday, February 25, 2008

Bachelor Chili

I'm not working today, so I celebrated by making chili. It turned out really yummy, so I thought I'd share the recipe:

INGREDIENTS
1 tube Thin Mints (the Girl Scout cookies)
1 can Trader Joe's Chicken & Rice Dinner For Cats
3 tbsp cooking oil
1 large green pepper, chopped
1 medium red onion, chopped
2 tbsp chopped garlic
1-1/2 pounds lean ground sirloin
1 pound turkey sausage
2 large cans whole tomatoes
2 cans (15-ounce cans) red kidney beans
1 can black beans
4 tbsp chili powder
1 tsp salt
Buffy the Vampire Slayer season two, disc 6
1 tbsp molasses
1 tbsp wine vinegar
1 tsp lime juice

DIRECTIONS
1. Open Thin Mints. Eat while cooking chili.
2. Open cat food; divide onto several saucers. Place saucers on back porch, hold door open until inside cats are all outside. (This saves the cook the trouble of constantly evicting felines from the countertop).
3. Heat oil in Dutch oven. Saute onions, garlic, and green peppers.
4. Add ground beef and turkey sausage. Brown meat with vegetables.
5. Core and quarter tomatoes. Add tomatoes (with juice), kidney beans (with liquid), and chili powder to Dutch oven. Stir. Cover; simmer over medium-low heat.
6. Start Buffy.
7. Xander does fish-stick slaying reenactment: stir chili.
8. Angel: "I'll have one of these to go." Add black beans (with liquid), lime juice, molasses, and vinegar; stir chili.
9. Spike sings: "Someone wasn't worthy..." Stir chili.
10. Episode ends. Stir chili, turn heat to low, leave lid slightly open. Start next episode.
11. Buffy: "You want my help because your girlfriend's a big ho?": Forget to use a pot holder, burn your hand on the lid, find an ice pack. Stir the chili.
12. Spike: "You hit me with an axe." Stir the chili.
13. Snyder: "You're expelled." Stir the chili.
14. Xander: "The cavalry's a scared guy with a rock." Stir the chili.
15. Buffy: "Close your eyes." Stir the chili.
16. Episode ends: eat the chili.

This is a little different from my normal chili; I think it's got a few improvements. The red onions give a different flavor than white onions. Not necessarily better, but different. Normally I chop the tomatoes a bit, but I like the chunkiness of quartering them. And I like mixing the red and black beans. The lime juice adds a nice bit of zip, too. And I had fun timing the chili with Buffy. The Thin Mints are an ideal chili snack, too. They taste awful with chili, and will therefore help you fight the temptation to pick your favorite bits out of the chili while it cooks. If not for the Thin Mints, my finished chili would've had no big chunks of turkey sausage in it by the time it was done cooking....

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