Sunday, April 29, 2007

The Law of Conservation of Marital Trauma

We're all familiar with the principle of Conservation of Ninjitsu: the theory is that the total badass mojo of the bad guys in an action movie is a constant, regardless of how many of them there are. If a dozen thugs attack our hero, he isn't really threatened; each thug only has 1/12th of the total available badassedness, so he's no real threat to our hero. Thus, the good guy can fight an entire horde of ninjas with little trauma, but a single ninja makes for a climactic battle.

I was wondering if there isn't some similar principle at work in a marriage. Possibly the total trauma suffered by a pair of spouses is a constant; as one has a better day, the other has a worse day. This occurred to me on Friday. I figured out that just as my Tech Guy Trauma was getting underway, Laura was five hundred miles away, lying down on a massage table. As her massage progressed, my trauma level was increasing. And, finally, just as the show was underway and everything was working, her massage was ending.

I'll have to conduct further experiments to test this principle. I'm not planning on causing Laura or myself any deliberate hardship (this seems unwise!), but I'll take note of what the other's doing when one of us is experiencing Hard Times.

1 comment:

NerfSmuggler said...

Reminds me of my global intelligence theory: The sum total of intelligence on the planet is constant ... unfortunately, the population is increasing. Notice how most of the brightest people came right after a plague wiped out a significant portion of the population.