Monday, November 06, 2006

Scary plumber

While I was staring at plumbing fittings at the local Lowes today, a befuddled-looking man asked me if I knew anything about plumbing. I offered my assistance, and he handed me a shopping list of plumbing parts. Some of them were imaginary. I asked where he got the list, and he said a friend had offered to install a new tub faucet and shower head for him. His friend sent him with the list, which included things like "seven-inch plastic pipe connector" and "2 copper pipe joints". The list also included a wrench and a torch and solder. I wondered aloud what kind of plumber didn't own a torch or solder -- or a wrench, for that matter. He said his friend wasn't actually a licensed plumber, but he knew a lot about plumbing and was working for free. I picked out the pile of parts and tools you need to install a tub faucet, and also dropped a copy of The Black & Decker Illustrated Guide To Home Repair into his basket. I told him that, when in doubt, believe the book instead of his friend.

And, the seven-inch pipe. I told him that there really wasn't such a thing a thing as seven-inch pipe in residential plumbing. He said he knew there was -- he saw him measure it. So I had him point out similar pipe. He pointed to the 2" PVC pipe. I mentioned that pipe sizes were measured by diameter, whereas his friend had obviously measured the circumference around the pipe. That's okay, though -- it's an easy mistake to make for a guy who knows a lot about plumbing. Heh.

I was tempted to give him my business card (the one that says, "Things Fixed, Select Things Broken"), but this really sounds like a project I don't want to be involved with....

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