Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Wizzle the hizzle?

I just listened to an older Ice Cube song with a bunch of words in izzle-speak. I'm pretty sure I understood what he was saying: "I don't give a fizzle, gotta do my bizzle" = "I don't give a f***, gotta do my business". But I don't think I really understand the slang grammar of the izzle. F'rinstance, I'm having a hardware problem on my desktop computer at work. Am I having a hizzle pizzle on my dizzle, or a hardwizzle problizzle on my desktizzle, or some combination thereof? I think the -izzle suffix exists to let you rhyme words that don't technically end in the same syllable, to balance out the meter of free verse, and to get away with saying things you otherwise can't say on the radio. But it does seem to have an actual grammar; that is, someone who knows the code can tell when someone's faking it.

I know talking about the whole "-izzle" thing is probably five years from hip, but that's okay; if I'm only five years away from cool, I'm proud of myself. And, now that I think about it, I don't think you can apply the izzle to computer tech support issues. Maybe there needs to be another variation that applies to nerd dialogue. I'm going to propose "-unction". And I'll further state that it applies to the last syllable in a word only. People might not like my made-up grammar, but I don't give a function, gotta do my bunction.

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