Friday, October 13, 2006

ewwww.

Was looking for Halloween candy online (why not?), and happened across a tin of white chocolate maggots. I think these are firmly outside my comfort zone. They can't possibly taste good enough to justify digging into a big ol' pile of realistic-looking maggots. Sure, they're white chocolate. But I can get white chocolate in many forms that in no way resemble insect larvae. I even suspect I could find some white chocolate in my kitchen with little effort.

I was fine with the first foray into ostensibly disgusting candy: gummi worms. No problem. They can't be mistaken for actual worms, unless worms (gummi or real) come in more colors than I'm aware of. They're essentially just like gummi bears, but much larger. I even enjoyed gummi frogs, which again give much more gummi goodness per candy unit than bears. I draw the line at gummi roaches, though. One of my chief culinary goals is to never share a meal with roaches, and the thought of eating food that actively resembles nightmarish insects actively skeeves me out.

I also never understood the Harry Potter tie-in candies. Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans actually come in flavors like grass, vomit, and ear wax. Bleah. And they sell rather realistic cockroach clusters. I can understand the appeal for candy makers, because it's so easy to do; unpleasant jelly bellies and roach shapes are about the only Harry Potter candies you can actually make that aren't too far from what's in the book. Chocolate frogs are pale imitations (given that they don't jump), and nobody would really want a lot of the candy, like lollipops that burn holes in your tongue; this is the stuff of creepy urban legends. And I don't think modern candy technology is capable of making sherbet balls that let you levitate.

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