Sunday, September 14, 2003

Once Upon A Time: A Public Service Announcement

If you're a fan of the movie Desperado, you're probably debating seeing the last chapter of the trilogy, just released. It's called Once Upon a Time in Mexico, and it's a genuinely bad movie. Where to begin? Most glaring is that it has way too much plot for an action movie. I sat through the movie and paid attention, and I still can't tell you exactly who did what when, or why. The why is also a problem; you don't get much character development, not even from the main characters. The only vaguely interesting character is Johnny Depp's. Plot and character problems are forgivable sins in an action movie--except that the action is also silly and nonsensical. A lot of the action was actually counter to the plot, and a lot of it violated even my lowered standard for suspension of disbelief. There was one cool stunt involving a motorcycle and a pink Cadillac, but if you saw the trailer you saw the stunt. The musical score was a serious step down from Desperado, as well. And did I mention that it didn't have a bitchin' sex scene like Desperado? Don't get me wrong--it had a few funny moments. But watch the trailer again; they're all in there. Bottom line: you can safely skip this movie, even if you were a serious fan of the first two in the series. And if you didn't like Desperado, you have no business in this movie at all.